resolution.

I suppose it’s around this time every year when people start reflecting on their past year and begin to make resolutions for the year ahead. Most don’t stick to their resolutions while the other half forget what they were resolving about two weeks into January. I usually fall into the category of forgetting my resolution however, I’m hoping my upcoming travel in the new year will change that.

I think many of us do the typical “be nicer, make more time for myself, make healthier choices, etc” but what about thinking outside the box for once – those are things you’re supposed to do as a human. You’re supposed to make healthy choices and be nice to others around you and take time for yourself so don’t expect the world to bow to you when you resolve to do it for a year – it’s basically cheating on your resolution. Set yourself up for a new experience rather than hold yourself back from others.

This year, I intend on seeing more of the world and using the word “no” a little less. I probably won’t eat healthier because let’s be honest, I love chips, wine, McDonalds and anything with a sugar content higher than 100%. I probably won’t save money considering Australia is one of the most expensive places to live and I recently found out my 9-5 isn’t holding my position while I go adventuring (not that I figured as much but it was worth a shot!) and before I bought my plane tickets to Australia – actually before the thought even really entered my mind, I bought my first brand new car and unfortunately I live in the real world where even though I’m going adventuring, I still have bills that will come out of my account no matter where I am! I will however, take more time for myself, curbing things that I know I could do but shouldn’t.

Where is all this coming from? After writing my first blog last night after several months in blog hibernation, I took a few hours today to go through all my older posts from the beginning of this blog and realized how far off track I’ve become. Photography wise, I’ve adopted different shooting techniques. Some are beneficial but some shy away from where I started off. I recognized that my work had seemed more candid a few years ago, and as the years went by, my workload increased and you can tell the passion was there but it just wasn’t quite the same. I don’t think I can pin an exact date on the change but it makes me wonder how I can enjoy photography as much as I did when I first began this blog. With this being said, I intend to resolve a few things in the upcoming year.

1. Travel more. This will commence before 2015 even hits! Beth and I leave for Australia on December 29th and land Down Under on New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried. My hope is to spend six months travelling and then do some more around my own country when I get home. My biggest hope is to get my Dad to visit Newfoundland with me for a photo excursion and get Luke to travel anywhere since he can be a stick in the mud! Luke, if you read this, understand that we didn’t buy the new truck with a crew cab for nothing – I saw the potential it had for camping and have full intentions of utilizing it to it’s full adventuring potential! My first stint of travelling does come with some guilt. I feel guilty about leaving my position at my 9-5. You spend more time with colleagues than you do with family so you get pretty attached. That said, it feels like I’m divorcing them after two years of being committed to them. I feel guilty leaving my family and friends. Six months is six months and either a lot can happen or nothing at all can happen. I don’t know which I hope for more. I feel guilty leaving my partner, Luke. My hope is that he finds some fun in the things I don’t find enjoyable like drinking beer, hunting, snowmobiling and skiing (not that I don’t like skiing – I’m just not very good at it. Luke often takes me with great intentions of it being a fun day and leaves me to do his experienced hills while I remain faithful to the bunny hills.) We’ve been doing a distance relationship for a year now where he works 14/7’s – this will essentially be six turnarounds where we don’t see each other.

2. Say no less and become braver. I used to be a strong person. As I grow older, my thoughts often get the best of me and I can talk myself out of quite a few situations if need be. I’m a picky eater. I’m afraid of roller coasters. I’m terrified of puking. I’m afraid of lighting and I’m afraid of living alone in Maryvale 3/4 weeks of the month while Luke works, resulting to me retreating to his sisters on more than three occasions a week just to have people around (luckily they don’t seem to mind having me around or at least they never say anything!) I guess it’s all a work in progress – I try to incorporate new things into my diet, there aren’t many roller coasters around to try so I can’t really remedy that one, and the living alone thing is hopefully something that might go subside while living on the other side of the world for a few months without the comfort of my usual family and friends.

3. Conversely, also say yes more. Say yes to sushi. Say yes to sky diving. Say yes to another concert I probably can’t afford. Say yes to sleeping under the stars even though I have to work the next day. ALWAYS say yes to another glass of pinot. Say yes to more family time. Say yes to slowing life down for a few minutes to watch that sunset, to watch the embers burn in a bonfire, whatever it is, slow it down and lock it into your memory.

4. Take more time to develop myself creatively. I missed out on this over the last two years at least. Yes, I’ve been taking photos but I haven’t been taking all that much time to produce anything that wasn’t a routine. I didn’t go outside my comfort zone. I need to get my funk back. I didn’t take a day where it was just my camera, my car and I for so long and for me, it’s like a therapy session. A much needed therapy session that allows me to vent gradually and not feel guilty about putting all my problems on someone else.

I never follow through on losing weight or eating healthier or saving money so I might as well embrace some of the things I might succeed in. Setting goals you can’t achieve is just setting yourself up for failure. Achieving more small goals means more in the long run. Slow and steady always wins the race. At least, I hope that’s true!

2 Comments on “resolution.

  1. I love that New Year’s Eve offers a culturally acceptable period of introspection and reflection every year; I appreciate the designated time to take stock of where we are and think about what and where and who we’d like to be. Several years ago, I resolved to say “yes” more and have loved where it has led me. I hope you find yourself similarly blessed!

  2. Pingback: farewell 2015. | Hilary Hendsbee | Photographer

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