Occasionally, I forget where my my mind is. I lose sight of my goals. I begin to feel as if the world is spinning around me too quickly to catch sight of the things surrounding me. I feel like I’m falling behind. I feel my chest get tense. I calculate the hours in a day and divide them by the massive amount of tasks that need to be completed and realize there are simply never enough hours. Did I brush my teeth this morning? Is my bank account still healthy? Have I paid my taxes? In all that chaos, I suddenly remember that where I’m standing is just fine. I focus on that. Right here is where I’m meant to be and I realize, in that moment; I’m grounded. Once I can hold onto the feeling of standing still, I can suddenly breathe. I let the world embrace me. I let those goals and tasks wait and let my mind wander. My heart rate slows and my hot coffee has waited long enough that it no longer burns my tongue, allowing me to sip as calmly as I like. I could write a book on the struggles of feeling trapped as a wound-up type A who is jealous of the ultra cool & laid back type B lifestyle & mindset. The struggle is real.
On a more artistic note, I’ve recently added a Sony A6000 accompanied with a 12mm f/2.8 & a 32mm f/1.8 Carl Zeiss lenses to my kit. I haven’t touched my Nikon. I’m obsessed with this new kit. I see light differently. I feel like less of a douche bag without my “large and in charge” DSLR. I like how versatile the mirrorless setup is and my wrists and neck are thanking me for not carrying around the heavy gear I’ve gotten so accustomed to lugging for the last 8 years. Also, I’m 25 and have bunions. This aging process is cruel and unforgiving. I’ve already missed out on being able to wear cute shoes – it’s a good thing I’d rather pour potential shoe money into my cameras and cars!